remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You smell like stripper and shame
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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