I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize