what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
