You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
