New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
