My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
