I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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