Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
