YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
