he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you win again, gameday.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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