my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
