New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
