she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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