apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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