So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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