why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
