let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
