i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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