Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
