Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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