He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
