I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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