i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
