last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
tell me about the eggs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
