In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
