I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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