Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
