i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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