Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
