this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
