If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
