My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
