Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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