No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How does it feel to date your dad?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
