i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You are the jesus of drinking
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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