me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
