My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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