We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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