Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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