She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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