yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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