I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize