Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
