my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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