You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
