She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
