I'm drive I can fine osifer
Michael Bay diarrhea
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
