doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
