On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
