I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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