He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
