Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
