Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
