Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How external is "for external use only"?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
