Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize