he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think your dad took our porno
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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