so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
