the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
