You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
