girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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