By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
