So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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