So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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