i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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