I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
